Dear Ben,

Buying a house sucks.  Moving sucks.  Get over it.  A few years from now, you’ll be even awesomer than you are today.  Why?  Your marriage won’t be strained; you’re kids will be sleeping through the night; and the house that you’re about to move into won’t be a wreck.  Oh, and your forthcoming book will be a best seller…almost definitely…possibly…okay, don’t get your hopes up.  Also, those jeans you bought last week, you should have bought them a few sizes bigger.  Sorry.  But on the bright side?  Google develops some pretty rad robot technology in 2013.  You take the plunge.  By late 2014, you’ll be a cyborg.  So, you’ve got that going for you.

Yours,

Ben