The Daily Fantasyship Reveals Gaffer d’Or Nominations
The end of the year is quickly approaching and we here at the Daily Fantasyship have compiled a shortlist of candidates for the prestigious award, Gaffer d’Or. We have chosen candidates that reflect the values of both the Fantasyship Premier and financial fairplay. It will come as no shock to our readership that we are formally endorsing Uno—manager of Dorning FC—as the Manager of the Year. His wit, chivalry, and strategic prowess are attributes that we all envy, radiating the emerald hues forever resting atop the dewy mounds of the Elysian Fields. To what or whom can we compare Uno’s genius? When asked about the Gaffer d’Or, Uno stated, “I would vote for myself.” Even now, I smile thinking of both his effortless elegance and understated simplicity.
Sadly, however, the Daily Fantasyship must recommend a total of three candidates. And while we fully support the nomination of Uno, we also offer up these two candidates: James Kim the Korean manager of Folds FC and Johnny Italy of FC Rogue. While both managers of have shown glimmers of something other than mediocrity, we cannot fully endorse either candidate. Kim for both his dismal showing in the transfer market and controversial partnership in the now defunct Korean pop band, Sleepy Drugs; Italy for his incessant prowling along the sidelines in naught but his skivvies and il Tricolored draped over his shoulders.
It will not escape your notice that the Dictatorial Duo is absent from our list of performing managers. This is due to both their smug corruption and ballooning budget. No manger running such an outrageous deficit should ever hope to win the Gaffer d’Or, an award rooted in both honor and integrity. So let this be a warning to all: Spending is the root of evil.
The Gaffer d’Or is a respected trophy of which only a few are worthy to clutch. While we must assume the mantle of democracy, we are confident in our choice of Uno as the Gaffer d’Or. Nevertheless, voting will commence today and continue through December 1st. Every vote counts as one half of a percentage point with Daily Fantasyship holding three quarters of every available vote. There are two notable exceptions: Team Lighting’s manager, Kyle Sibling Singer, receives no vote; and the Dictatorial Duo’s vote divides by five eighths of their remaining one-third percentage point.
Let the voting commence!